Wine

I feel like a jerk all the time, especially if the priest can see me, but I can’t help but fall asleep in church...X_x I dunno, it guess it’s not interactive enough for me, like lectures. There is singing, and I love singing a lot, but there isn’t enough of it. I remember someone telling me that singing was prayerx2 because it was so beautiful...so powerful. I love Christian music...the lyrics and voices the songs...so powerful. Air1 is my favorite station – you can check it out through iTunes radio, under religious, or stream from their website.

Anyway, I was hecka passing out at church, until the “Our Father” prayer and the part where you wish everyone peace. [note: I actually wrote this entry 2 weeks ago but never posted it. Mass today for Palm Sunday was cool in the fact that the gospel was the Passion of Jesus and read like a script, with everyone in the congregation reading the part here Jesus talks together…like all of us together was Jesus’ voice] This part always wakes me up as strangers clasp hands and familiar friends hug, wishing one another peace. Right afterwards is the part where people go up to receive the Eucharist – the bread and wine: the body and blood of Jesus. I signed up and trained to be a Eucharistic minister a long time ago, but never go to write about it. It’s such an amazing experience...the last words people say before receiving is “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the world and I shall be healed” I repeat those words to myself to many times, because it’s sooo true. I really don’t deserve to be up there, given all the shit that I do...but I’m being invited, we’re being invited up to the table...who are we to refuse? So I make my way to the altar, clean my hands with the “holy hand sanitizer (haha)” and face the congregation, singing Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world...grant us peace.

I serve the wine, raising the glass to the same eye level with the person about to receive...the red liquid swishing in the glass between the two of us as I say: “the blood of Christ”. The stranger says “Amen” takes a sip of the wine, and the next person comes up. There’s just something amazing about such a large group of strangers sharing the same cup, receiving the same blessings, singing the same songs, celebrating the same moment and the wonders of life…and being in Berkeley, there’s such a diverse group of people who attend mass together from all over the world…it’s sooo amazing.

Peace be with you. *hug*

excuses

it's been a long time since I've posted...too long, and I've been meaning to write so much, but there just hasn't been time for me to sit and just write about what I'm thinking...but something happened today that kinda rocked me...

I'm taking Poetry for the People (link to history and info)...and it's such an amazing class, the people dedicating their time to teach it, the raw and powerful poetry, learning about the struggles of cultures that are not of my own...it's a priceless experience and I just wish that I could give it the energy and passion that the class deserves.

Honestly, I've been slacking, using excuses such as work, clubs, and culture show as an excuse.

FIRST we are at the university as STUDENTS. I told my culture show CORE that...but then I contradicted myself by saying that I put culture show first when I really shouldn't....it's so hard, there's so much to do...but having the opportunity to take classes such as Poetry for the People, and photography with Janet. I need to learn balance. Anything is possible...I just gotta figure out how to do it right.

Anyway, I turned in a shitty response paper a week late, and then I whine to my STP (student teacher poet) about how busy I am and how crazy life is...but seriously, I need to suck it up and get my game together like everyone else, who I'm sure, have tons of others things to worry about too....so basically I feel like shit because I was a whiny baby. excuse, excuses..

I need to write poetry that I'm proud of. I need to take pictures that evoke emotion. I need to read and absorb what I read. I need to learn how to learn, how to be a better student. Because before you can change the world...you have to learn how...right? right.